Nobody’s life is filled with perfect little moments. And if it were, they wouldn’t be perfect little moments. They would just be normal.
PS I Love you
The first night away at her parents’ house.
There were no streetlights outside and when I got into bed I didn’t realise just how dark it was. So I lay there for a while listening to the noises outside. She had already gone to sleep.
I must’ve drifted off but when I woke it was still dark. So I closed my eyes and lay there hoping they would adjust and I’d would start seeing things. I nudged her.
“Are you awake?”
“I think I’m blind?”
“I can’t see anything. I think I’m blind.”
“Don’t be a tosser. There are no streetlights. It’s the country.”
So I got my legs out of bed. “Now I need to try and find the bloody toilet.”
She grunted and turned over.
I was a bit like a newborn trying to walk. Trying to be quiet. Silence, then a crash.
“Bloody hell. Bugger.”
The light went on.
“What are you doing in the wardrobe?”
“I thought it was the bedroom door.” There I was sat naked with a load of metal hangers around me.
She just sighed and turned the light off. “Dickhead.”
I was late getting up the next morning. I looked like I’d been mauled by a tiger with scratches from the hangers.
I went in the kitchen and they were all sat eating toast.
She shook her head in mock disgust.
“Morning.” Her Dad didn’t look up.
“No splinters?” I groaned as she spat out her toast.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“We heard a little noise in the night. My daughter volunteered the rest.”
“How kind of her.”