Not all auras are for Angels

True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, “I was adored once too.”

4 Weddings and a Funeral

So she did not sleep. She went to the Doctors and they gave her bright red tablets to take.

She got really fed up with me fussing.

“Don’t forget to take your tablet.”

“Yes Dad.”

I didn’t really like it, but I knew it was probably her only chance of getting decent sleep.

She got into bed, propped the pillows up and turned the TV down to the ‘only audible to owls’ setting. Half a tablet with the glass of water and a peck on the cheek.


“Good night sweetheart. Hope you sleep OK.”

Her breathing slowly became deeper, more even.


It seemed like I had only just gone to sleep when I was woken. She was sat on the edge of the bed. I could only see her back, but she was crying.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?”

“I can’t sleep. I am so tired, but I just can’t sleep. I’ve just been lying there. I can’t cope with this.”

I hugged her from behind. She put her hand on my arm and pulled me in tighter. “Have a warm drink. I’ll go and do it.”


“At least try it.”

I watched her as she drank milky tea. She lay back down and I stroked her back. “I hope you sleep now.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s what I am here for.”

Slowly, her breathing became deeper. I dozed as well.

But not for long.

“Unbelievable.” She kicked me. I turned over to face her. And shout at her. She was on her front. Her body was tense. Her head was facing away, but I could hear her grinding her teeth.

She was kicking her legs. Her arms were down by her side.

She seemed to be having a fit.

Like a naked not-so-super hero, I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. I gently turned her onto her side.

Her arms and legs were straight, taut, jerking up and down. Her jaw was clenched. She was moaning loudly.

I had someone I used to play football with who had a fit and I hoped I would remember the basics. I made sure her tongue was free. When she opened her mouth loads of saliva poured out. She continued to groan.

“Come on sweetheart. Come on. Calm down.” I just stroked her hair, her back. I talked to her in a low, even voice. She slowly stopped.

“Hey you. Come on. You’re ok.”

Her eyes opened, that glazed look when you are woken suddenly, trying to focus.

“Hey gorgeous. How you doing?” I kissed her on the forehead.

She was slurring and making no sense. Like typing words with mittens on. “The light. Bright”

“You were having a fit.”

Her mouth opened and closed. She looked so frightened. Her eyes widened and she tried to back away. I stroked her cheek, but she was so hot and flushed.

“Don’t worry, you are OK now. I’m gonna call the ambulance.”

“Don’t leave.”

I smiled the weakest smile in the world. “Never.”

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